Exploring Life's Sliding Doors

In this episode of The Big 6-Oh!, we’re talking about the defining moments that shape our lives — from chance encounters to major decisions and unexpected twists of fate. Whether it’s a career move, a relationship, or simply being in the right (or wrong) place at the right time, we explore the “sliding doors” moments that can send life in a whole new direction. Join us as we reflect, share stories, and celebrate the surprises that make life after 60 all the more fascinating.

Transcript

00:00

If you're old enough to remember when phones had cords and the only thing that went viral was a cold,  then you're in the right place. Welcome to the Big Six-O with Kaylee Harris and Guy Rowlison. Because who better to discuss life's second act than two people who still think mature is a type of cheese.

00:39

Hi everyone  and welcome to another episode of The Big Six O.  I'm Guy Rolison and with me as always, my great mate and fellow time traveller from Epping West Public, Kayleigh Harris. are you? Hello.  Now this week we've got a topic that got me thinking. We're talking about those sliding door moments.  The forks in sort of life's road where one decision leads to  either the right or wrong outcome sometimes in life  and being in the right

01:08

place at the right time can probably set your life on a different path.  Right? Yes.  And I've had a few of those in my life.  I look back, think,  now what if I had taken another job?  What if I didn't move house  or said yes instead of no  to something?  And sometimes fate can just sort of take a hold too, right?  mean, do you believe in fate?  I don't know. kind of being brought up.

01:36

As an Anglican, guess I'm not, I don't tend to believe in fate. I tend to think that everything happens for a reason from a higher purpose, I guess. Yeah. Okay. But I don't know. Do you? As I get older, I like to think fate probably has a hand in it, but I don't know whether it's because of your life choices and it finds you somewhere along the way. I don't know whether that's fate, whether that's a higher power, whether that's just coincidence.

02:06

You read into it whatever you want. I guess by handing it over to fate and saying that  it's fate,  I guess you lose control and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Because if you think everything happens for a reason and nothing you do is going to make any difference, then  just let go. Does that make sense? Does  that fork in the road?

02:30

then force you to make those decisions of your own, well,  is it your own free will?  mean,  and it forces you to do something that you would normally just say, oh, you know, if it's meant to be, it meant to be.  Yeah, I think sometimes things happen in life that you don't expect  or opportunities present themselves  that you don't expect. Then you, and all of sudden you're faced with a conundrum. You know, what do I do now? Cause this isn't what I expected. This life isn't taking me.

02:58

on the, the direction that I thought I was going, but let's get some examples. Do you remember, can you give us an example of when you hit a fork in the road?  know,  a big recent fork in the road. And when I say recent, I'm going back half a dozen years or more now  was  where I was working before a whole bunch of through no fault of anyone's.  There were a whole lot of redundancies.  My role was, was made redundant and

03:27

Everyone listening will know the processes and the  copy and paste  emails you get about all that sort of thing.  It's just the  way of the world these days. Now that was in December,  just prior to Christmas,  going back about  eight years ago now.  My father  was  diagnosed with something  and you know, and he got...  At the same time? Well,  he didn't really let on.  But it meant that

03:57

there was  six months or more and I'm thinking what I'm going to do  in my world, you know? And all of a sudden I think this is the worst thing that could happen sort of around a Christmas time. I'm now without a job after being with a business for a long, time. What am I going to do? I'm over the age of 50, right?  So  I spent some time with dad or that sort of thing. And then he became progressively worse.  And he passed six months after I was made redundant.

04:27

Now, if I was still working, I wouldn't have been able to spend that six months of quality time with him. Wow. And not knowing what was  going to befall either one of us.  It happened. I look back at that now and  I don't say it's a blessing, but I think my gosh, that little fork in the road, that little sliding door sort of moment where,  you know, while I was looking for a job, essentially, I got to spend so much time with my father.

04:57

Not knowing what was going to be happening in six months. Wow. Yeah, that's a great story. I think there are forks in the road and we'll talk about more of them  professionally  forks in the road, plenty of those through life,  but going back for me,  going back to when I was a kid,  I was born in Brisbane and  we moved,  my dad got transferred to Melbourne  for his job. So we left when I was five.

05:23

And we stayed in contact with the kids, some of the kids and some of the neighbors  in Brisbane.  And a lot of them sort of went on to stay in Brisbane in the suburbs, married other people in the area and  never really moved out of there, never really traveled, never really did anything  big and substantial like that.  And when we would go back to visit them years later, they...

05:51

sort of seemed a bit stuck in suburbia if that kind of makes sense.  And I remember my mum saying to me she wanted  my sister and I to sort of have a bit of a  travel experience too.  And it was tough, you know, going, we, and then after Melbourne, we came to Sydney and then we went to Queensland and then came back to Sydney. So we moved a lot.  And as a kid, I was  changing primary schools a lot.

06:16

and forced to make new friends every couple of years because we found ourselves somewhere else. Now, whilst that might've been a bit hard at the time,  I'm so grateful for that experience now that  my, obviously my  dad professionally was in a  fork in the road that impacted the whole family when  we moved. So I can, that's probably my earliest  memory of a fork in the road. Yeah. It's,

06:41

almost a small town mentality. You see it in movies all the time. And  even when we look at  Mira's wedding, where you've got porpoise spit and everyone just lives in that little town. They live that world and  that's their whole existence. And  they aspire to be  whatever that their world can offer them in that particular environment. you know, there's nothing wrong with that. That's fine. You know, when we would go back and see our neighbors and stuff like that, they were blissfully happy.

07:11

But yeah, it's just interesting how you can look at it from a different perspective. That's right. That's right.  I look at an example and it's not a personal example that  once again, I'll use my dad as an example here, where one of his best mates,  the marble fell and he went to Vietnam. Now,  that whole conscript thing of you got, you know, three months training and off you go. Now that changed his world. He came back, but not the same person.

07:41

Um, after  spending time in Vietnam and, and, and fighting that war.  Um, so that was, that was something that was beyond  his,  you know, all of a sudden there he is one day hanging out with his mates. And that's not something he gets a choice on if it's conscription. That's right. Uh, yet that marble fell, I think it was, um, I think in an episode we had  with Tim Webster, he was saying he was lucky that the date of birth that happened to fall  wasn't his.  unfortunately for this.

08:10

this man,  he did and he had to go. So his life was changed  and it was changed subsequently after that because of that, that fork in his road, because he came back a different person altogether then.  And it was noticeable.  yeah, like fortunately  ourselves, we've never had that sort of situation. But personally,  there's a lot of other forks in roads and sliding door moments.  And yeah, as you say, whether it's,

08:40

your landlock in a particular suburb area, whatever, yeah, you can be blissfully happy.  That's your world.  But travel, for example, and  you love your travel.  Have you ever been somewhere where you've been off the beaten track or it's you've just found something or somewhere that you didn't expect to find while you're away or? Yeah, well, I went to,  this is probably in my twenties. I went on a holiday overseas to see some family over in the US and on the way stopped off in Hawaii.

09:10

And I absolutely fell in love with Hawaii. I thought, oh my gosh, this, I want to live here. I'm coming back. This is, this is the best place in the world.  I just loved it. It had such a great vibe to it.  And I wonder now what,  you know, I tried to get my green card and sort of started to make inquiries down that Oh, you tried to get your green card? Oh, you did, yeah. No, I didn't get it. I started to make inquiries about it. And then  one thing led to another. I think, you know, my dad.

09:38

became sick and it didn't ever happen. But it makes me wonder what would have happened had I up and moved to the US  in my twenties. speaking of,  like we talked about,  I think we talked about this in a recent podcast as well, that  something I've, I wanted to do if I wasn't doing now was being an air hostie.  And I wonder now, cause I went for  the interviews at Qantas and  no, Anset, I think it was when Anset was a thing.  And I got to the third interview and a girlfriend was

10:08

she went through it with me.  She got through and she was flying for years.  I got to the third interview  and bummed out  and didn't get the job. But I was so convinced I was going to get it. I've got quite an outgoing personality  and everyone told me that's what they're looking for.  I just was convinced I was going to get it and then I didn't get it. I  had

10:35

my whole life in front of me of flying and all those sorts of things. And then it didn't happen. But then,  you know, I went into,  I was in radio at the time and the radio career took off. Now that would never have happened had I been  flying. But another set of experiences.  And is it, is it an older thing that we go through that we say,  what if,  or I mean,  do eight year olds say,  I wish I had have done this or is it, is it an older

11:04

older thing where you say,  I think it's an adult thing.  I think it's, you probably start doing the what ifs in your twenties and maybe all your thirties.  And is that because the grass is greener in your, in your mind's eye  or what is, what is it?  Um, you have the ability to be able to look at, at other situations when you're starting to make big life decisions, like, you know, getting married and having kids and things like those big moments.

11:29

then I think that's when the what ifs start to come in. Cause you think, okay, well what if I don't have kids? What if I don't get married? What if I marry somebody else? What if I leave this marriage? I think that's when you start to see is the grass greener and you know what? Most of the time it's not. Yeah. It's another one of those DeLorean time machine moments, it? Where you start to say, know, and sometimes in your mind's eye, yeah, great. But in reality,

11:59

Are paths that you end up taking or you choose to take, are they the ones you're meant to take? What do you think?  Are they the paths you're meant to take? I think so.  Yeah. I think so. I think those things happen for a reason. And we talk, like you said before, is it fate? But  I think those things happen for a reason. And I think when you are presented with a fork in the road in your life,  it's  a really good time to reflect. And, know, why is this happening to me now? Why have I been offered this job now? Why has

12:28

You know, why have I been diagnosed with an illness now or somebody I love has? And,  and I think, I think it's gives you an opportunity to,  I guess, value life and reassess  and not get too comfortable with where you were going. Cause maybe where you were going was not the best. And maybe this has happened for a reason and you can't see it at the time, but it will become.

12:54

obvious over time why that happened. Like you said, retrospectively with your dad, you look back and go, okay, I can see now the benefit of that. Even though at the time you would have been devastated being made redundant, but  where is this leading me? know?  kids, grandkids, kids,  they offer a lot of folks in the road too, don't they? Because  if you choose to have kids lucky enough to have kids or whatever,  you make connections.

13:20

through them as well. And that can take you on different paths and different journeys. And then all of a sudden grandkids are another case in point and all of a sudden they steer your direction a whole lot of the time too. Have you ever had any situation with your kids or them growing up, but all of a sudden you're a mom and

13:38

What you were thinking was going to be part of your world all of a sudden has to do a 90 degree or a Well, probably the most obvious one and the biggest one was my marriage breaking down in 2007 and  you know, I thought you get married and you stay married and married for life until death do us part and all that sort of stuff  and It didn't work out that way  and it was a really tough couple of years

14:05

And I thought, well, hang on a minute, I'm not Mrs. So-and-so anymore. I'm now going to be  going back to being single and navigating life as a single mom. That was probably the biggest fork in my road, I think,  in my life to rework out what does that mean and how do I be that person? Because relationships,  they're big forks, aren't they? Just in themselves  and where they take you and you sometimes question it. Yeah. But I don't know whether you questioned it at the time.

14:35

Or once again, do you just look back? Well, when you look at the stats and half of marriages won't work, there's so many people out there going through the same thing. One in two people, it won't work for them. And I know someone who's just gone through it recently and after being married for 38 years. my heart breaks for her. But is it a chance to reinvent yourself? Is it a chance to...

15:04

I can look back now and I can see why the marriage didn't work out.  And I can,  I can see my part in that. And I think that, you know, this brings me to the person I am today. So it's not entirely a negative fork in the road. can be a very character building fork in the road. If that makes sense. Yeah. Have you ever thought about if you had met someone else or if you hadn't met  anyone, what

15:32

your life would have been like because it would have been different.  I wondered that, you know, when I was single and  I changed jobs in radio, I went from one radio station to another. Had I not gone to that second radio station, I wouldn't have met my husband because that was part of all that scene.  But I,  and I used to, when I was in my twenties thinking, oh my gosh,  am I ever going to get married? Is anyone going to want me?  You know, and you do think these things. And I used to look up at the start at the sky at night when there was a full moon, I'd go, you know, somewhere out there.

16:02

my future husband is looking at that full moon too. You I wonder who it is. You wouldn't have been the only one doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Who is he? Where is he? And who's he with now? And how's he going to come to be in my world? And all of those things. But I thought, what if I, what if I don't meet anyone? What if I end up not having kids? Yeah. That could be my life. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't want that. I mean, I always wanted to have kids. So, and as it, as it turned out, I was very blessed, but yeah, it's,

16:32

I, yeah, it's interesting how you, how your life takes that turn and you think, how would it have been different had something else happened? And I think we've done that.  I'll put my hand up.  I would sometimes as a  younger man, don't know if that's blokey thing to do and you would, you'd look up the moon or whatever and think, yeah, someone that I'm going to meet is looking at exactly the same thing thinking.  So I didn't think it was going to be Kayleigh. didn't, sorry.  What are you saying? I'm not saying anything.

17:00

Is there a what if though? I shouldn't say regret. Is there a what if that you still think about today though? Oh gosh, I'm sure there are plenty of them. I'm just trying to think. Yeah, there is a what if. An opportunity presented itself for me to have a relationship with someone who was sort of reasonably well known in

17:29

this country  and  I decided not to. And I thought, no, this doesn't feel right. And I didn't do it. But I wonder whether  what my life would have looked like had I gone with that. Yeah. Yeah. How different it would have been.  Professionally,  I remember being offered a job. went for a job.  I must have been in my early thirties  and I  know I'm wearing an Australian open

17:59

top today,  not  through coincidence, maybe through fate. But,  the job was with  the Association of Tennis Professionals, the ATP.  And  I got down to the last three  and it had gone from, and I think we'd only just had our first,  our first little girl.  And it went from being a job where I would be spending  six weeks of the year away from home.  And we could, we could live with that.

18:27

We thought fantastic. Now, by the time it got down to the last three, that had extended to something like  17 weeks away. And that included Christmas and all those sort of things. And I thought, oh, and it was sold. Oh, you'll be chatting with, you know, and the names came out back in the day. was like the Ivan Lendols and all that. And you'll be having to mix with those people.  And I often thought, well,  I would have loved that role. That would have been fantastic role. that have been your dream role?

18:56

At the time, yeah, but my bigger dream was to spend time Christmases and not be that dad who... The absent dad. Oh, remember when we did this at Christmastime? Oh no, dad wasn't here. He was over in  wherever.  So I sabotaged my own fate  in that sort of final interview where they ask you those ridiculous questions like how many letter boxes are there in London and  all those, you know.

19:24

All those. sure this was a job about tennis?  Look, I'd been through all those things, but then they ask you crazy questions to work out what's going on in your head.  But I didn't want to be that dad that  didn't remember that Christmas or  I was on the tour when someone turned four and, I miss,  you know, a soccer match or something like that.  sometimes you,  whether it's your conscience,  whether it's your self belief in what you want to do and where you want to go and where you want to head that takes a hold.

19:53

And does that all sort  of  come together in  your life choices as well and say fate has  nothing behind it or is that fate actually helping you make those decisions? depends I guess on your beliefs,  what you believe in, in  the universe, God, the greater powers that be, whatever you believe in.  But I think  I'm a big believer in  assessing all of those opportunities as they come along and look at,  what

20:22

Why has this happened to me now? So I think, I mean, a few years ago, you know, we're talking about professionally a few years ago, I found myself  not with a lot of work and I needed a job pretty badly. And I thought to myself, what, what do I want to do?  What do I really want to do? And I'd always wanted to drive buses. So I thought, well, I'm going to do that. And I went and got a job and I drove buses for  six  or eight months  before  another better paying job came along.

20:51

And I'm so glad I did that because I loved it. still love the idea of it.  And, and, oh yeah.  So that  the experience and the people that I met  and, I'm not, I'm not talking about work colleagues so much as the passengers that I met and the people that I met and what I learned about myself in that role was just fantastic. It's such a blessing, you know, and all those different things that you do make you who you are today.

21:18

It's the people you meet circumstance and even, even doing this, you know, think, wow, you know, it's a little podcast.  Um,  and the people I've come in contact with,  um, I think that's fantastic. These situations I've never find myself in.  Um, and then through that, you know, they give you the introduction, all those sort of networking things and you don't call it networking at a certain age. You know, it's just nice to meet people. Everyone is someone different.  that little change in my life.

21:45

has meant that I've got to meet some remarkable people with remarkable stories.  And I know  in both of our careers in the media, you do get to meet some amazing people,  but everyone is someone's brother, someone's sister, someone's neighbor, someone's uncle.  And they're just regular people who go through all these things as well. Right? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Another one that pops into mind, I remember  when I was in my twenties, a girlfriend  of mine and I, we were talking about going traveling for 12 months, like a lot of young Aussies do.

22:15

And we had made a decision that that's what we were going to do.  We started madly saving up money  and had it all planned out where we were going to go and do the US and London and Europe and the whole thing. And we're going to be away for 12 months. And  it was  so exciting. And I thought, wow, this is great. And I thought we might end up  living in London. I might end up working overseas somewhere.  And about three months before we were due to leave,  she told me she had met someone and she wouldn't be going anymore.

22:46

And I was devastated, absolutely devastated. but you know,  now when I think about had I done that, where would I be today? I could be anywhere in the world doing anything. Um, and I didn't, ended up staying here and went back to work, like knuckled down to work and the career took off and away we go. So  it's interesting, isn't it? You look back at those times and say, wow, what if I'd done that?  Yeah, there's always, there's always some small decisions too, that lead to bigger.

23:15

things as well. don't know about you.  I can't think anything off the top of my head, which was like a relatively small decision,  but it may be whether you go to a party  or you go to,  I really don't want to go out tonight and do such and such. And then you meet someone amazing or you, or something incredible happens to you.  Um,  not a, not the most pleasant of stories, but  a friend of mine,  um,

23:43

in their teens made that little snap decision that you do when you're a teen  to,  I'll get a lift with someone. And they got a lift with that particular person.  And it was a wet night  and the roads are a little bit slippery. Now they survived the car accident, but it changed  her life forever. A  lot of plastic surgery, all those sort of things. But that little split decision of actually

24:13

deciding, look, I will go with,  um,  you know, Johnny instead of Mary,  um, has changed her life,  um, forever. And you and I, and everybody listening to would make a million decisions like that every day. That's right. That's right. Every day. Yep.  Um,  I think about some of the tragedies, know, we, wasn't, wasn't long ago. think it was the 50th anniversary of the Granville train disaster. Yeah.  Um, people just making their annual commute yet.  So many stories came that, Oh, I missed my train or I decided I was going to

24:43

take the later  train that day or bus.  Um, they are real sliding door moments, aren't they too? Yeah. Well, I guess, and more recently the air crash in India. That's right. That with one man surviving and, uh, all the other people on board didn't survive. And you know, he's now joined a very exclusive club would be questioning a lot of things I would imagine in, in life that his road, what his life was like before that and what his life is going to be like now after that.  After the movie.

25:13

11a comes out or book 11a, think that his life, but  I think he lost a brother in that tragedy as well.  So yeah, his life will never, never ever be the same.  And there's so many movies as well that sort of,  you know, I mean,  I don't know if you've got a favorite change. mean, there's Sliding Doors, which is a very obvious one.  I always used to love that music movie with John Cusack  and Kate.

25:41

Bec and Sal called Serendipity.  Okay. I've heard of it. haven't seen Yeah. Basically a movie where  a guy meets a girl and he puts,  think she puts a note in the book or something and then sells the book. And so  they're meant to meet up if he happens to find that note in the book.  I think most, most movies,  if you think about it, most movies have a sliding door. I mean, you think about Greece.

26:09

What if Sandy hadn't decided, you she was, she was going to be Sandra Dee and she was all, and then all of sudden she changed to, you know, to, um, to be with, what was his name? Danny? Danny. Sorry. Gosh, I can't believe I forgot that. on, Danny Zuko. Where, where, were you? I know, sorry. Spare the moment. Um, and I'm thinking like Top Gun. Yeah. That was going one way and then all of a sudden it's gone the other way. Just about every Bambi.

26:34

Every movie you think about,  little Bambi, know, mum gets shot and Bambi's on a different path. think about it. Every movie has that where  the people are on a path and it doesn't go according to plan. Otherwise the movie it'd be as boring as  the proverbial. The proverbial. Well, used to,  to, still like watching a movie with Robert Redford called The Natural. It's a baseball movie. Yes.  And he's a pitcher  and he meets a woman on a train.  She ends up a  little bit left of center, shoots him.

27:04

And so all of a sudden his life as a pitcher has gone, but he becomes one of the great batters in the sort of game. So you're right. Bambi though. Wow. Sorry, that was a bit depressing. What about Lion King? Perfect example of life not working out the thing, the way you thought it would. Okay. There's a whole nother podcast in this. Oh, you lead me down that path. Hey, listen, I'll finish up with this. If there was.

27:32

a chance to wake up in any town, any city, so as you could make that sort of fork in the road and say, oh, look,  tomorrow I'm going to just change my life, but I have control of that. Would there be anything that you would do or  would you just say, I think I can just go on a holiday and let life take care of itself? Yeah, I think I would just let life just let go and let life show me where it wants me to be. Yeah, sometimes you just do that, don't you? Yeah.

28:00

I think it's very deep and meaningful.  I think you should go and  reacquaint yourself with Danny Zuko. Yeah. Or Bambi. Yeah. No, I'm not going to do Bambi.  And we'll talk again soon. We'll talk again soon. Cheers. Okay. Bye.  The views and opinions expressed on the Big Six are personal  and reflect those of the hosts and guests.  They do not represent the views or positions of any affiliated organisations  or companies.

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This podcast is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for guidance on any personal matters.

28:41

And before we go,  let's give credit where credit is due.  Kaylee Harris and I came up with all the genius content for this week's episode.  Our producer,  Nick Abood,  well he keeps the lights on and makes sure we don't accidentally upload a cat video instead of a podcast. thanks for keeping us on track, Nick.  Nick?  Nick?